When you can’t hear yourself think 

Yesterday was quite a day. Actually, all days are kind of like that now. Especially the days in this week. 

Astrid is going through a phase or leap or something. Whatever it is, it’s making her cross. Her angry screaming has been nearly constant and now it’s making me cross too. All week. It’s been like this all week. 

Iris is having tantrums too. Not even big ones, but big enough that they require me to get down to her level and have a little chat about how she’s feeling and why, and how we can fix it. 

While a baby screams at me. 

It’s not much fun, as you can imagine. Getting out of the house has been virtually impossible. It takes until midday to get dressed. I’ve given up attempting to wash. If you’re in Pontypridd and you smell something bad while walking around town, it’s probably me. Sorry. 

My hair looks a bit like a haystack. 

In the morning I had a conversation with Iris that went like this. 

Iris: mummy we go to big shop 

Me: what for? 

Iris: big boy pants 

Me: you want to buy some pants? 

Iris: green ones 

Me: ok, but if you wear pants you have to use the potty. 

Iris: no 

Me: you don’t want to use the potty? 

Iris: no

So now we have pants. They aren’t green and they’re from the girls section, but we have pants. We also have a potty, but as Iris doesn’t want to acknowledge that aspect of pants-wearing, I guess we are also going to have a lot of puddles. 

She also asked for a sausage roll, but chucked all of the pastry on the floor. So really she just wanted a sausage. 

It took all of my strength to get us out of the house and to the supermarket for those pants. I don’t think Astrid wanted to go because she screamed All. Morning. Long. 

She screamed half way from the supermarket to town too. Then she fell asleep. 

Then, after we went to breastfeeding support group just so that I could have at least one cup of coffee before it went cold, she screamed most of the way home. 

Why is my usually jolly baby so sad? And so loud? 

She would not sit in the pushchair. Iris was shouting for an ice lolly. I attempted pushing the huge double pushchair with one arm while holding Astrid. Nope. Can’t do it. 

Bought a rocket lolly for Iris. She chucked it on the floor after one bite. 

At the bus station several people told me my baby was crying. Thank you, helpful people. I hadn’t noticed. 

I arrived home like this. 

I have no idea how I even got them off the bus like that. 

And there we stayed until Trevor got home. 

Please let today be easier. 

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