Today we ventured out, us three. No Trevor, nobody else. Just us. And it was scary. For me, anyway.
It took until 3pm to be ready to go. It’s just impossible to be ready.
I managed my first shower with two of them. Iris in her high chair in the bathroom, sticking sequins and feathers to a piece of card. Astrid in her basket thingy, snoozing and propping the door open. It was a fairly long shower too, as they were both content. I felt really chuffed with myself. I’ve nailed this!
So then I took them both upstairs and got myself dressed. I stripped off the bed for washing and started sorting out clothes for them. Meanwhile some roofers turned up and climbed out of the big kid’s bedroom window. Iris got access to that room, and started stealing their stuff. Mostly plastic jewellery, which she then insisted on wearing. I got her out of there without her getting too cross, but then she decided to empty all of her clothes drawers. Things weren’t going to plan.
Before I could get Iris dressed, Astrid woke for a feed. It took ages.
Then I dressed Iris and the bloody CBeebies lunchtime song came on. How?? How is it lunchtime? Iris asked for ‘snack’ and before I know it I’m making us all sandwiches. Thankfully Iris takes a long time over lunch, so I use the time to make sure I have a bag with everything we might need. Somehow I have 3 changes of clothes for Iris and none for Astrid. But I can’t go and get some, because I’d either have to get Iris out of her high chair mid-lunch to take her with me, or just take Astrid and risk leaving Iris alone in her high chair for a minute. I don’t want to do either. It’ll have to wait.
Astrid wakes up and needs a feed. It takes ages. Iris demands to get out of her high chair so I have to remove Astrid which makes her scream. Really not going to plan now.
Iris plays. I change Astrid’s nappy and get her dressed.
Iris is really grumpy. She clearly needs a nap.
I give up and decide we’ll go out after her nap. It’ll give me more time to get ready anyway.
There’s no bedding on the bed. Oh for goodness sake.
We lie on it anyway. Astrid needs feeding again so I can’t cuddle Iris in the way she likes. Iris gets upset, then calms down but won’t lie down. Half an hour later I give up.
Back downstairs, I continue trying to pack the bag. They both poo. I was almost ready! It’s like they know.
Once they’re both changed, Iris suddenly reaches the level of tiredness where she’s irrational. We have to go very soon or she’ll explode. I put her coat and wellies on, strap her into her pushchair and plonk her in front of Tree Fu Tom with a cup of milk. She’s asleep in minutes. Phew.
Only now Iris is sleeping, and the whole reason we’re going out is so that Iris can let off some steam. Sigh.
I put Astrid in her coat and put her in the wrap, then realise I haven’t brushed my teeth. I’ve remembered to brush Iris’s teeth but not my own. Somehow.
Pretty soon we’re off. Both babies are snoring and I’m wondering why I’ve bothered. But still. We’ve done it. By 3pm, which still somehow seems like an achievement of sorts.
Iris wakes just as the bus gets into town, which is perfect. The sun is shining and it’s a lovely day. To the park!
Iris tears around in her usual way, picking up sticks to fill the basket under the pushchair. Astrid sleeps. I check she’s still breathing about 500 times and laugh as I remember doing that with Iris too. Who says you worry less about your second?
Before we know it, the sun is going down. The grass turns white before our eyes, and Iris discovers a frozen puddle to smash. It’s freezing! Then the concrete starts to turn white too, and Iris slips over a couple of times. It’s time to go.
Of course Iris is terribly unhappy about this, and it takes a while to gently convince her that we should get in out of the cold. I have to sing Wind The Bobbin Up to calm her sobs, and I feel awful.
The library! Iris loves the library, and it’s warm. There’s a huge chalkboard wall, colouring sheets and hundreds of books. Heaven for Iris. Astrid wakes up and I feed her her. Nobody notices. Trevor texts to say he’s going to to the supermarket and he’ll pick us up. I’m relieved not to be getting back on the bus with two awake under-twos.
And I’ve done it. Our first trip out. It wasn’t much, and the getting ready part was a disaster, but it’s done.
I feel a bit smug.