The third trimester!
I can’t sleep. Not ever. I get between 2 and 4 hours a night. Every time I start dozing off I need a wee. That’s if I even manage to get comfy. My hips hurt so much now that they keep me awake. They hurt far more when I’m still, especially if I stay still for some time. Night times are the worst. In the day, Iris is relentless with her charging up and down and I can’t keep up!
I had a physiotherapy appointment at the hospital. I wish I hadn’t bothered. She watched me walk up and down a corridor, and seemed concerned that I don’t bear weight properly on my right leg. She showed me a support belt, but couldn’t provide one. They don’t anymore, apparently. She was fairly certain things will get worse and I’ll end up on crutches, which isn’t exactly reassuring. Then it was over. I came away with one exercise to do (which isn’t helping) and that’s it. I bought the support belt she suggested online, but I can’t wear it for very long. It’s more uncomfortable than my hips are!
Pushing the pushchair has become too much. I have to keep doing it, as Iris isn’t reliably walking in the same direction as me yet, but it’s a struggle. I’m baby wearing as much as possible, and actually it’s easier to wear Iris on my back than it is to push the pushchair. I can’t carry Iris and her nappy bag and any shopping I may need to do though, so I end up using the pushchair anyway. Thankfully a friend has given me a lightweight stroller that is far easier to manage.
Today was my 28 week appointment. Iris was a dream. She sat on the chair next to me playing with a plastic giraffe for the whole appointment, occasionally smiling at the midwife. I have the worst thin veins, so as usual finding one that would give up some blood was tricky. I feel like a human pin cushion after the several attempts. We did manage to have a chat about my birth options though. As everything is going so much better this time, there’s no real need for me to be in hospital. I had Iris in the Royal Glamorgan Hospital and didn’t have the calmest experience. I felt like I was surrounded by doctors for hours on end, but never really understood why they were there. This time I want things to be different. I want to be left alone to do it my way. There are two midwife led birth centres I could choose from, or I could just stay home. This needs some thought, and a long chat with Trevor. There’s Iris to consider too. We also listened to the baby’s heartbeat, which was fine. She’s doing alright in there. It’s always such a relief to hear it.
It’s strangely been an emotional day today. I feel awful and hormonal, and keep thinking about Iris suddenly having to share me. How will I divide myself between two without Iris feeling neglected? It’ll probably all be fine, but I can’t help but worry. Iris seems to sense my unease, and will wrap her arms around me and cover me in sloppy kisses. She’s just the best kid ever. I’m overwhelmed by this amazing human I made. Will I have enough of this love for two of them?