Me and Iris went to a party last week. A toddler party, with lovely buffet food, energetic little people, parents, and one kid dressed as a lobster.
When I first moved here, back in March, I was heavily pregnant, very poorly, and knew nobody but Trevor. I was worried, even back then, that I’d end up stuck indoors with a baby and no friends. To some extent, I have been. At times I don’t go anywhere or talk to anybody for days on end. Getting out with a baby is hard. It’s even harder when you’ve got to walk the dog first too.
But I was fairly determined we would get out, we would meet people and make friends.
It’s been a huge effort, I’ll be honest. After the sleepless nights the last thing I want to do is catch a bus. But I do need the adult company. When it’s been days since I’ve talked to anybody except Trev, and I’ve spent most of my time entertaining a baby, I desperately crave the conversation of other people. Even if those conversations are mostly about breastfeeding, birth, health visitors and cake.
I’ve been feeling recently like I’m beginning to be part of a group of mum friends. You know the newbie to the group, who nobody is really sure about yet? That’s me. I’m ok with that.
Last week Trev was away from Sunday to Thursday. That’s a long time to have no adult company. My mum came to stay for a night and a day, but that still left a huge gaping hole in my week. I was dreading it.
Then we got invited to this party! It’s kind of a big deal.
I know it’s just one party, but I finally feel like me and Iris are going to build a nice little life here, and that we’ll have a support network soon. With my mum, sister and all of my friends living an hour away, that matters. It matters for Iris too. Right now as long as there are other people to poke and pull their hair her social life is full. But soon she’ll need other kids to play with. Preferably kids around the same age. Particularly during the week when her big sisters aren’t around.
I think we’ve found our place.